Wednesday, July 14, 2004
FOOD PYRAMID TO BE REPLACED BY GIL GERARD
By Stockton
The leading contender to replace the Food Pyramid is Gil Gerard, best known as Buck Rogers.
Rebecca Walsh, Professor of Dietary Studies at the University of Chicago, is excited about the selection. "The Food Pyramid just isn't working. People are still fat because they don't realize that sweets and fats are at the tippy-top of the pyramid, not the base. Plus, Gil Gerard is in excellent shape while the Food Pyramid has experienced structural problems in the past decade."
Unwrapped food has caused structural problems
Structural Engineer Egon Sharvsky has inspected the pyramid for the last five years. "There are a number of problems," said Sharvsky. "The bowl of cereal in the lower quarter somehow spilled and that moisture has caused some rotting, undermining the integrity of the framing and support beams. Also, because the original builders left food unwrapped in the pyramid, cockroaches and Carpenter Ants have infested the place. And don't get me started on the grave robbers."
The Department of Agriculture has not cleared the use of Mr. Gerard as the new "Food Pyramid" but a spokesman does point out that Mr. Gerard's use of space age, Reynolds Wrap type clothing, should prevent him from suffering the same structural problems as the pyramid.
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By Stockton
Food Pyramid Might Disappear As Guide
Tue Jul 13, 7:51 AM ET
By IRA DREYFUSS, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON - The government is looking at replacing the Food Guide Pyramid it uses to guide Americans' eating habits, hoping to find something that will motivate people better to turn to healthful diets.
While 80 percent of the nation recognizes the pyramid, two-thirds are overweight or obese, Agriculture Department officials said Monday as they asked for ideas.
The leading contender to replace the Food Pyramid is Gil Gerard, best known as Buck Rogers.
Rebecca Walsh, Professor of Dietary Studies at the University of Chicago, is excited about the selection. "The Food Pyramid just isn't working. People are still fat because they don't realize that sweets and fats are at the tippy-top of the pyramid, not the base. Plus, Gil Gerard is in excellent shape while the Food Pyramid has experienced structural problems in the past decade."
Structural Engineer Egon Sharvsky has inspected the pyramid for the last five years. "There are a number of problems," said Sharvsky. "The bowl of cereal in the lower quarter somehow spilled and that moisture has caused some rotting, undermining the integrity of the framing and support beams. Also, because the original builders left food unwrapped in the pyramid, cockroaches and Carpenter Ants have infested the place. And don't get me started on the grave robbers."
The Department of Agriculture has not cleared the use of Mr. Gerard as the new "Food Pyramid" but a spokesman does point out that Mr. Gerard's use of space age, Reynolds Wrap type clothing, should prevent him from suffering the same structural problems as the pyramid.
