Wednesday, July 14, 2004
GAY MARRIAGES CAUSE TERRORISM
By Tweed
Senator Rick Santorum made a valiant, last ditch effort to save the Marriage Amendment....and the United States.
"I would argue that the future of our country hangs in the balance because the future of marriage hangs in the balance," said Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa. "...Isn't that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?"
In an effort to ward off future terrorist attacks, Santorum went on to suggest that the Department of Homeland Security jettison anti-terrorism activities to focus on protecting marriage.
"I'd like to see a bodyguard or two assigned to each marriage," said Senator Santorum. "We should spare no expense in saving this institution."
Santorum also suggested that real Americans get involved in saving marriage. "If you see suspicious behavior, if your neighbor is going to see a divorce attorney, if you think your neighbor is cheating on his or her spouse, phone the FBI. We can't allow another 9/11."
In related news, another Republican Senator stands shoulder to shoulder with Senator Santorum, but this time the threat is.....Box Turtles.
"It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right... Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife."
-- Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), quoted by the Washington Post, advocating a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage in a speech Thursday to the Heritage Foundation.
Box Turtle heads down to City Hall for Marriage License....Yum, Yum, Gimme Some!
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By Tweed
Senator Rick Santorum made a valiant, last ditch effort to save the Marriage Amendment....and the United States.
In an effort to ward off future terrorist attacks, Santorum went on to suggest that the Department of Homeland Security jettison anti-terrorism activities to focus on protecting marriage.
"I'd like to see a bodyguard or two assigned to each marriage," said Senator Santorum. "We should spare no expense in saving this institution."
Santorum also suggested that real Americans get involved in saving marriage. "If you see suspicious behavior, if your neighbor is going to see a divorce attorney, if you think your neighbor is cheating on his or her spouse, phone the FBI. We can't allow another 9/11."
In related news, another Republican Senator stands shoulder to shoulder with Senator Santorum, but this time the threat is.....Box Turtles.
-- Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), quoted by the Washington Post, advocating a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage in a speech Thursday to the Heritage Foundation.
