Tuesday, July 13, 2004
LB IN 04 STAFF ASS POSITION NARROWED TO 3
By Stockton & Tweed
Having received hundreds of thousands of resumes from eager applicants for the coveted staff ass. position here at LB in 04 (See May 26 Advertisement), we at LB in 04 have narrowed the candidates down to three.
Our first candidate is a real ass. . . really. He's an ass, and he won't shut up. Still, he's pretty funny. Nonetheless, given the requirements of the position, we're going to have to pass. Sorry, ass.
Our second finalist has more of the qualities we looked for in a candidate: she's human, has all of her limbs, and received her BA from Columbia in journalism. She's done some post graduate work at Yale, and intends to pursue a doctorale degree at Princeton. Still, we couldn't offer her a position.
OK: our final contestant is . . . well . . . let's just say that that divorce really raised her standing in our book.
Her name is Bunny Lingus.
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By Stockton & Tweed
Having received hundreds of thousands of resumes from eager applicants for the coveted staff ass. position here at LB in 04 (See May 26 Advertisement), we at LB in 04 have narrowed the candidates down to three.
Our first candidate is a real ass. . . really. He's an ass, and he won't shut up. Still, he's pretty funny. Nonetheless, given the requirements of the position, we're going to have to pass. Sorry, ass.
Our second finalist has more of the qualities we looked for in a candidate: she's human, has all of her limbs, and received her BA from Columbia in journalism. She's done some post graduate work at Yale, and intends to pursue a doctorale degree at Princeton. Still, we couldn't offer her a position.
OK: our final contestant is . . . well . . . let's just say that that divorce really raised her standing in our book.
Her name is Bunny Lingus.
