Friday, July 16, 2004
POLL RESULTS
By Editorial Board
Seventeen of you answered the question: "George Bush Reminds Me of the Following Movie or Television Character:
Fredo Corleone 35% (6 Votes)
Clyde 24% (4 Votes)
Chance 12% (2 Votes)
Corky 12% (2 Votes)
Karl Childers 6% (1 Vote)
George Costanza 6% (1 Vote)
Forrest Gump 6% (1 Vote)
Needless to say, we are disappointed. Unlike most polls, here there is a quantifiable, verifiable, objective answer. Gather your test sheets and lets review.
Chance (Peter Sellers, Being There)
Initially, superficial similarities make this an attractive choice.
However, Chance was well respected by world leaders, had experience working for a living and could string together simple, declarative sentences. Chance is wrong.
Corky, Clyde, Childers and Costanza
Each of these characters possess some similarities with President Bush:
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By Editorial Board
Seventeen of you answered the question: "George Bush Reminds Me of the Following Movie or Television Character:
Fredo Corleone 35% (6 Votes)
Clyde 24% (4 Votes)
Chance 12% (2 Votes)
Corky 12% (2 Votes)
Karl Childers 6% (1 Vote)
George Costanza 6% (1 Vote)
Forrest Gump 6% (1 Vote)
Needless to say, we are disappointed. Unlike most polls, here there is a quantifiable, verifiable, objective answer. Gather your test sheets and lets review.
Chance (Peter Sellers, Being There)
Initially, superficial similarities make this an attractive choice.
However, Chance was well respected by world leaders, had experience working for a living and could string together simple, declarative sentences. Chance is wrong.
Corky, Clyde, Childers and Costanza
Each of these characters possess some similarities with President Bush:
Looks
Gait
Accidental Achievement
Yet all are relatively good natured, responsible individuals, with the exception of Costanza. 
Yet all are relatively good natured, responsible individuals, with the exception of Costanza.
Costanza is not completely off the mark. "Living a lie? I'm living like ten lies. My whole life's a lie."
He is not Bush because he is unable to rely upon family and friends to establish himself in the world. Indeed, Costanza, like Childers, actually receives prison time for committing a crime. Further, Mr. Costanza has always been drug and alcohol free.
Forrest Gump
This is a tempting character. In particular, one remembers the line, "And then one day, for no reason at all, I started running." Which rather sums up the 2000 Bush campaign.
It is also tempting to imagine young George Bush on campus saying, "I'm sorry I broke up your Black Panther Party, Jenny."
However, Mr. Gump was a college football star, not a cheerleader. Additionally, Mr. Gump is innocent, good-natured and understands duty and honor:
George Bush is not Forrest Gump!
And now we come to it. Which movie character had an important father, a brother who liked the ladies and a younger, smarter brother who was destined to get into the family business.
Which character had the opportunity to volunteer for combat, but refused to do so.
Which character appears drunk at his sisters wedding.
Which character is sent into business with his father's friends, to keep him safe.
Which character said, "You take care of me? I'm the older brother! I'm smart! I can do things!"
George W. Bush is
Fredo Corleone
Although Fredo was the most popular choice, that selection should have received at least 50% of the vote (or at least 49.1221%).
