Friday, September 03, 2004
GOP ALLEGES CLINTON CONSPIRACY
By Stockton
Just hours after it was announced that the last elected President was undergoing heart-bypass surgery, Denny Hastert has alleged a new Clinton conspiracy.
"It's an obvious attempt to get sympathy either for Democrats in general or for a Hillary run in 2008," said the calorically challenged Speaker of the House. "We have information that President Clinton has been building up plaque in his arteries for years now, just waiting to use it at an opportune time. It may also be designed to underscore the Vice-President's delicate condition." The House Committee on Physical Fitness has indicated it may subpoena Clinton's medical records.
Political experts are following the story closely. "If something should happen during the surgery," said political analyst Fred Schulte, "it would be the end of an era. The passing away of the last elected president."
Schulte, refers to the 'Counting Votes' election system utilized in the United States from 1788 - 1996.
Cardiologists are upbeat about Clinton's prognosis. Dr. Enoch Potter points out, "Clinton was President for eight years. Eight years of balanced budgets, peace and prosperity can take a physical toll on any President. He'll likely pull through. The good news is that President Bush should have a long, healthy life."
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By Stockton
Just hours after it was announced that the last elected President was undergoing heart-bypass surgery, Denny Hastert has alleged a new Clinton conspiracy.
"It's an obvious attempt to get sympathy either for Democrats in general or for a Hillary run in 2008," said the calorically challenged Speaker of the House. "We have information that President Clinton has been building up plaque in his arteries for years now, just waiting to use it at an opportune time. It may also be designed to underscore the Vice-President's delicate condition." The House Committee on Physical Fitness has indicated it may subpoena Clinton's medical records.
Political experts are following the story closely. "If something should happen during the surgery," said political analyst Fred Schulte, "it would be the end of an era. The passing away of the last elected president."
Schulte, refers to the 'Counting Votes' election system utilized in the United States from 1788 - 1996.
Cardiologists are upbeat about Clinton's prognosis. Dr. Enoch Potter points out, "Clinton was President for eight years. Eight years of balanced budgets, peace and prosperity can take a physical toll on any President. He'll likely pull through. The good news is that President Bush should have a long, healthy life."
