Monday, October 11, 2004
ELECTION ANALYSIS:
THE COLORADO SENATE RACE
By Tweed
Colorado, of all places, could be the key to the presidential election. Colorado was solid Bush last time around; but this election cycle includes a senate race pitching beer magnate Can of Beer against the latino attorney general, Ken Salazar. Early on, speculators thought Salazar may have a shot at winning in this western state. Surprisingly, Colorado has turned into a presidential swing state, despite virtually no effort there by JFK. And Salazar and Can of Beer are tied in the most recent poll of the senate race. So, what's going on in the Colorado state, and what does it tell us about the presidential election?
Considering that I've lived practically my entire life in a combination of New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut and Virginia, I figured I'd have a pretty tough time giving you an analysis.
Then I saw Salazar and Can of Beer on Meet the Press. Trascript here.
In many ways, the Colorado Senate race falls into the familiar pattern of the 2000 presidential campaign - but without the charisma. It's 2000-lite.
Salazar is clearly a bright man; and he has a long record of public service. He is a thinking man; someone who believes we must keep a constant vigil to ensure our safety:
In a similar vein, he uses a great line of attack against Can of Beer, saying that he would be nothing more than a rubber stamp for the Bush administration.
Unfortunately, Ken Salazar looks like this:
Yes, . . . it's a box turtle.
I just couldn't get the image out of my mind.
But what about Can of Beer?
Can of Beer appears to fit the George Bush mold of politician - he's got a well known name and lots of money. In fact, Can of Beer is probably a mixture of two recent republican candidates for the presidency: George Bush and Steve Forbes. They took half of Bush's intellect and half of Forbes' charisma and created Can of Beer. I'd call this guy a half-wit but I don't want to be rude to all the half-wits out there.
In the past we at LB in 04' were unkind to Can of Beer. Thinking in retrospect, I'm glad we were. In fact, I'm disappointed that we were not more rude to Can of Beer.
Less. . . . well. . . less everything
This guy did little more than parrot back to Russert key Republican catch phrases. And his lame defense of his anti-gay agenda in light of his company's support of various gay events (including nude revues and fetish nights) was down-right laughable.
When I looked into his vacuous eyes, my immediate thought was that I should quit drinking.
But I don't want to go to extremes.
After all, Can of Beer's company's values are Colorado values:
VOTE BOX TURTLE, COLORADO!
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THE COLORADO SENATE RACE
By Tweed
Colorado, of all places, could be the key to the presidential election. Colorado was solid Bush last time around; but this election cycle includes a senate race pitching beer magnate Can of Beer against the latino attorney general, Ken Salazar. Early on, speculators thought Salazar may have a shot at winning in this western state. Surprisingly, Colorado has turned into a presidential swing state, despite virtually no effort there by JFK. And Salazar and Can of Beer are tied in the most recent poll of the senate race. So, what's going on in the Colorado state, and what does it tell us about the presidential election?
Considering that I've lived practically my entire life in a combination of New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut and Virginia, I figured I'd have a pretty tough time giving you an analysis.
Then I saw Salazar and Can of Beer on Meet the Press. Trascript here.
In many ways, the Colorado Senate race falls into the familiar pattern of the 2000 presidential campaign - but without the charisma. It's 2000-lite.
Salazar is clearly a bright man; and he has a long record of public service. He is a thinking man; someone who believes we must keep a constant vigil to ensure our safety:
I think that what Senator Lugar and Senator McCain and others have done in
questioning what is happening and raising tough questions is the appropriate
thing that we're going to do if, as a nation, we are going to honor that most
solemn obligation that we have as national leaders and that is to protect the
homeland.
In a similar vein, he uses a great line of attack against Can of Beer, saying that he would be nothing more than a rubber stamp for the Bush administration.
Unfortunately, Ken Salazar looks like this:
Yes, . . . it's a box turtle.
I just couldn't get the image out of my mind.
But what about Can of Beer?
Can of Beer appears to fit the George Bush mold of politician - he's got a well known name and lots of money. In fact, Can of Beer is probably a mixture of two recent republican candidates for the presidency: George Bush and Steve Forbes. They took half of Bush's intellect and half of Forbes' charisma and created Can of Beer. I'd call this guy a half-wit but I don't want to be rude to all the half-wits out there.
In the past we at LB in 04' were unkind to Can of Beer. Thinking in retrospect, I'm glad we were. In fact, I'm disappointed that we were not more rude to Can of Beer.
Less. . . . well. . . less everything
This guy did little more than parrot back to Russert key Republican catch phrases. And his lame defense of his anti-gay agenda in light of his company's support of various gay events (including nude revues and fetish nights) was down-right laughable.
When I looked into his vacuous eyes, my immediate thought was that I should quit drinking.
But I don't want to go to extremes.
After all, Can of Beer's company's values are Colorado values:
VOTE BOX TURTLE, COLORADO!
