Wednesday, April 28, 2004
ADMINISTRATION STRUGGLES WITH DEFINITION
By Stockton
Bush Administration officials have been working overtime, hitting Webster's and the New Collegiate Dictionary.
"Our problem is," said one administration toadie, "we've been calling it a cease-fire, but it may not be. I mean, you know us....we like to be accurate."
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has been struggling all week for a new description of what is now occuring in Iraq.
"The Secretary has looked up war, insurgency, rebellion, killing, explosions and alot of other things, but nothing quite fits," said one Pentagon hack. Also rejected by the Secretary of Defense, were the following descriptions:
1. Faux-Fire;
2. People firing when they're not supposed to;
3. Oops-Fire;
4. I didn't mean that-Fire;
5. Semi-Cease-Fire;
6. Neo-Cease-Fire;
7. I'm glad my kid isn't over there-Fire;
8. Clinton got a blow job.
Administration officials hope to have this matter cleared up before they move on to granting Iraq "sovereignty."
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By Stockton
Bush Administration officials have been working overtime, hitting Webster's and the New Collegiate Dictionary.
"Our problem is," said one administration toadie, "we've been calling it a cease-fire, but it may not be. I mean, you know us....we like to be accurate."
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has been struggling all week for a new description of what is now occuring in Iraq.
"The Secretary has looked up war, insurgency, rebellion, killing, explosions and alot of other things, but nothing quite fits," said one Pentagon hack. Also rejected by the Secretary of Defense, were the following descriptions:
1. Faux-Fire;
2. People firing when they're not supposed to;
3. Oops-Fire;
4. I didn't mean that-Fire;
5. Semi-Cease-Fire;
6. Neo-Cease-Fire;
7. I'm glad my kid isn't over there-Fire;
8. Clinton got a blow job.
Administration officials hope to have this matter cleared up before they move on to granting Iraq "sovereignty."
