Wednesday, April 14, 2004
GOOD PEOPLE BEGET GOOD DVD PLAYERS
By Consumer Affairs Desk
Wal-Mart, still smarting from rejection at the hands of Californians, now markets a wholesome, god-fearing, family friendly DVD. "This is a gosh-darn good development," noted a Wal-Mart spokesperson. "A family can now rent DVD's without worrying about explicit content they may have overlooked."
According to Wal-Mart, the DVD will simply skip over any scenes depicting violence, explicit language, nudity, threats of violence, threats of nudity, references to more than one god, alcohol or drug use, racial and ethnic slurs, witchcraft, vegetarianism, environmentalism or any scene that otherwise promotes bad feelings or makes people tingle where their swimsuit covers. Reviews have been mixed:
"I love it," said Cindy Calhoun, mother of five. "It's just a relief not to have to worry about watching a DVD with the kids and seeing depictions of nudity and polytheism. Plus, last night we watched 8 movies and I had the little bastards in bed by 9:00pm. It's fucking awesome!"
"I'm having a tough time with it," noted Sid Morse, accountant. "I tried to watch Bend Over Babes #3 last night, but it was all disjointed. I thought maybe it was because I didn't see Bend Over Babes #1 and #2. But I rented those and it was the same thing. No continuity. I couldn't follow the story."
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By Consumer Affairs Desk
Wal-Mart, still smarting from rejection at the hands of Californians, now markets a wholesome, god-fearing, family friendly DVD. "This is a gosh-darn good development," noted a Wal-Mart spokesperson. "A family can now rent DVD's without worrying about explicit content they may have overlooked."
According to Wal-Mart, the DVD will simply skip over any scenes depicting violence, explicit language, nudity, threats of violence, threats of nudity, references to more than one god, alcohol or drug use, racial and ethnic slurs, witchcraft, vegetarianism, environmentalism or any scene that otherwise promotes bad feelings or makes people tingle where their swimsuit covers. Reviews have been mixed:
"I love it," said Cindy Calhoun, mother of five. "It's just a relief not to have to worry about watching a DVD with the kids and seeing depictions of nudity and polytheism. Plus, last night we watched 8 movies and I had the little bastards in bed by 9:00pm. It's fucking awesome!"
"I'm having a tough time with it," noted Sid Morse, accountant. "I tried to watch Bend Over Babes #3 last night, but it was all disjointed. I thought maybe it was because I didn't see Bend Over Babes #1 and #2. But I rented those and it was the same thing. No continuity. I couldn't follow the story."
