Friday, April 30, 2004
KERRY, DNC TO RETURN GORE MILLIONS
Former Vice-President Al Gore recently handed over 6$ million dollars to aid the Kerry camapign as well as Democratic congressional campaigns. Lickin'Bush has learned that the funds will soon be returned to Mr. Gore.
After an exhaustive study and analysis, the Kerry Campaign has determined that ample evidence exists to declare Mr. Gore a "jinx".
"The guy is like Oliver," said one Kerry advisor, referencing the hapless Brady Bunch cousin who seemed plagued by bad luck.
The Kerry advisor offered a litany of Gore "jinxes". "The guy lost in '88, his father died, he was in Vietnam and we lost, he lost in 2000 when he actually won and he endorsed Dean and we know where that ended up. Thanks but no thanks."
It is now widely believed that the Gore "jinx" was largely responsible for President Clinton's impeachment.
Brady Bunch cast members diagree with the comparison.
"Oliver never lost to Bush, I mean, come on!" Said Ann B. Davis, who portrayed Alice.
"I don't really give a fuck about Oliver or Gore," commented Mike Lookinland, who portrayed Bobby. "Christ, I haven't worked in over twelve years and I'm this close to hussling blowjobs outside of Grumann's and you're asking me this shit!"
Oliver was not available for comment.
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Former Vice-President Al Gore recently handed over 6$ million dollars to aid the Kerry camapign as well as Democratic congressional campaigns. Lickin'Bush has learned that the funds will soon be returned to Mr. Gore.
After an exhaustive study and analysis, the Kerry Campaign has determined that ample evidence exists to declare Mr. Gore a "jinx".
"The guy is like Oliver," said one Kerry advisor, referencing the hapless Brady Bunch cousin who seemed plagued by bad luck.
The Kerry advisor offered a litany of Gore "jinxes". "The guy lost in '88, his father died, he was in Vietnam and we lost, he lost in 2000 when he actually won and he endorsed Dean and we know where that ended up. Thanks but no thanks."
It is now widely believed that the Gore "jinx" was largely responsible for President Clinton's impeachment.
Brady Bunch cast members diagree with the comparison.
"Oliver never lost to Bush, I mean, come on!" Said Ann B. Davis, who portrayed Alice.
"I don't really give a fuck about Oliver or Gore," commented Mike Lookinland, who portrayed Bobby. "Christ, I haven't worked in over twelve years and I'm this close to hussling blowjobs outside of Grumann's and you're asking me this shit!"
Oliver was not available for comment.
