Friday, April 30, 2004
REPUBLICAN GUARD CAPTURES FALLUJAH
By Stockton
Brushing away almost four years of bravado like "Bring 'em on!" and "We will not negotiate with terrorists!" the Bush Administration has allowed former Republican Guard General Jasim Mohammed Saleh to take control of that part of Falluja not controlled by insurgent terrorists.
The White House vehemently denies that characterization. Said one White House lap dog, "we are not negotiating with terrorists or ex-Baath Party members or Saddam's old general's."
The White House spokesman stated, "we misidentified those fighters in Falluja. They are not foreign terrorists. They are merely engaged in random acts of 'youthful indiscretion'. And that's that. Besides, all this is over a parking space."
In related news, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld accidentally told the truth last night on Hard Ball. In response to questions from Chris Mathews, Mr. Rumsfeld stated that there was not a connection between 9/11 and Iraq, nor did President Bush ever asked his own secretary of Defense whether he supported going to war.
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By Stockton
Brushing away almost four years of bravado like "Bring 'em on!" and "We will not negotiate with terrorists!" the Bush Administration has allowed former Republican Guard General Jasim Mohammed Saleh to take control of that part of Falluja not controlled by insurgent terrorists.
The White House vehemently denies that characterization. Said one White House lap dog, "we are not negotiating with terrorists or ex-Baath Party members or Saddam's old general's."
The White House spokesman stated, "we misidentified those fighters in Falluja. They are not foreign terrorists. They are merely engaged in random acts of 'youthful indiscretion'. And that's that. Besides, all this is over a parking space."
In related news, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld accidentally told the truth last night on Hard Ball. In response to questions from Chris Mathews, Mr. Rumsfeld stated that there was not a connection between 9/11 and Iraq, nor did President Bush ever asked his own secretary of Defense whether he supported going to war.