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Sunday, May 02, 2004

BUSH NOT DYSLEXIC, SAY EXPERTS
By Stockton

Judy Williams, an expert in cognitive disorders, has stated that President Bush is not Dyslexic. The President, known for his inability to construct sentences, has long been plagued by rumors that he suffered from the language affliction.

"Dyslexia," explained Dr. Williams, "is a specific cognitive disorder where the victim transposes words and letters. The dyslexic sees words and letters upside down or backwards. Bush has been accused of having dyslexia because he is pathologically inarticulate. However, with some time and effort, the true dyslexic can 'compensate' for the affliction and learn to read, write and speak."

And President Bush: "He's just stupid," said Dr. Williams. "Not dyslexic."

Millions of Americans seem not to care about Bush's lack of oratorical skills. After a major speech many Americans are heard to say, "he talks alright for me." What about those people who like Bush's downhome, homespun, plain way of speaking?

"They're stupid too," Said Dr. Williams. "How else can you describe people proud of an inability to properly speak the language?"

The President has always denied the dyslexia charge and has now been proved right. "Them accused I of everything under the sun," said President Bush. "Now it's eating disorders!"

Barbara Bush, the First Mother, also denies her son has any disorder. "George has always been....well....'special'....but never dyslexic."
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