Wednesday, May 26, 2004
DEMOCRATS EMBRACE CLINTON; KENNEDY
By Pillsbury
The Democratic party has begun efforts to change its image, slightly, to better encourage people to join. And they are doing so by embracing the spirit of two of the party's stars - Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy.
"We are really making an effort," said party spokesman, Joseph Bedder, "to make this party the par-tay party." Bedder, now going by his pseudonym, "Hard" Rod Cafe, pointed to the party's efforts with younger, more nubile voters. "We're talking about issues of interest to people who like to drink, have sex and generally have a good time." Cafe pointed to the party's joint ventures with High Times, Samuel Adams Beer and Hustler Magazine as examples of the pary's outreach efforts.
The party's embrace of par-tay politics is linked directly to the success of the two, arguably, most famous Democrats: Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy - reknowned party animals. Voters like Jason Kifferman, who is considering changing his last name to "Shaggerman," may be the key to the party's future. "Dude, its like totally awesome! Man, like did you know that the last Democratic president had his bone smoked in the Oval Office! That's what I want in a leader."
Jessica Cutler, who was filing papers to have her name changed legally to "Bambi," noted that she appreciated the Party's efforts. "Those Republicans are so stiff. . . oh, wait, I mean they're so, you know, boring. I can't support a politician who probably wouldn't go down on me."
Cafe noted he had been fielding innumerable calls from new democrats expressing approval for the new party slogan:
"If That Van's a-Rockin', Come on in and Join the Democratic Party!"
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By Pillsbury
The Democratic party has begun efforts to change its image, slightly, to better encourage people to join. And they are doing so by embracing the spirit of two of the party's stars - Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy.
"We are really making an effort," said party spokesman, Joseph Bedder, "to make this party the par-tay party." Bedder, now going by his pseudonym, "Hard" Rod Cafe, pointed to the party's efforts with younger, more nubile voters. "We're talking about issues of interest to people who like to drink, have sex and generally have a good time." Cafe pointed to the party's joint ventures with High Times, Samuel Adams Beer and Hustler Magazine as examples of the pary's outreach efforts.
The party's embrace of par-tay politics is linked directly to the success of the two, arguably, most famous Democrats: Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy - reknowned party animals. Voters like Jason Kifferman, who is considering changing his last name to "Shaggerman," may be the key to the party's future. "Dude, its like totally awesome! Man, like did you know that the last Democratic president had his bone smoked in the Oval Office! That's what I want in a leader."
Jessica Cutler, who was filing papers to have her name changed legally to "Bambi," noted that she appreciated the Party's efforts. "Those Republicans are so stiff. . . oh, wait, I mean they're so, you know, boring. I can't support a politician who probably wouldn't go down on me."
Cafe noted he had been fielding innumerable calls from new democrats expressing approval for the new party slogan:
"If That Van's a-Rockin', Come on in and Join the Democratic Party!"
