Monday, May 24, 2004
FAMILY VALUES DAD BLOWS OFF DAUGHTERS GRADUATION
By Stockton
President Bush, recovering from a alcohol/drug-induced bicycle fall, will blow off his own daughters graduation.
"Look," said the President, through a gin-soaked haze, "I'm gonna win in Texash and gonna loosh in Connetut. Why the fuck should I go to my own daughters gradiations there if I can't campaign?"
Secretly, aides worry that the President can't be around all those beer balls. "Of course he's still drinking," said aide Phillip McKenzie, who wished to remain anonymous. "That fucker puts away everything from Gin to nail polish remover. If he gets around graduations, all hell could break loose."
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By Stockton
President Bush, recovering from a alcohol/drug-induced bicycle fall, will blow off his own daughters graduation.
"Look," said the President, through a gin-soaked haze, "I'm gonna win in Texash and gonna loosh in Connetut. Why the fuck should I go to my own daughters gradiations there if I can't campaign?"
Secretly, aides worry that the President can't be around all those beer balls. "Of course he's still drinking," said aide Phillip McKenzie, who wished to remain anonymous. "That fucker puts away everything from Gin to nail polish remover. If he gets around graduations, all hell could break loose."
