Thursday, May 06, 2004
GOP REQUESTS SUPPORTERS' BLOOD; FIRST-BORN
By Stockton
The GOP boldly stepped into the future with its request for more than money from its donors.
"We want more than money," said GOP Chief of Propoganda Ed Gillespie, "we are seeking demonstrations of loyalty, worthy of our party." The request calls for Republicans to donate blood, for the purpose of creating a cloned volunteer youth core to help with republican grass roots efforts, including "get out the vote" drives. "For some reason, Republican men just aren't getting any tail," whined Gillespie. "We need help in that department."
The children, according to Gillespie, will be held by the GOP to ensure "right thinking" within the party.
Some GOP activists expressed skepticism about the tactic. "What about us single guys," said long-time GOP supporter Tony Jackov, "we don't have kids to donate." Other GOP supporters were very supportive. "You know, it's nice to see the party moving in the right direction," said Virginia businessman Eli Mergatroid, "now all the world will be ours."
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By Stockton
The GOP boldly stepped into the future with its request for more than money from its donors.
"We want more than money," said GOP Chief of Propoganda Ed Gillespie, "we are seeking demonstrations of loyalty, worthy of our party." The request calls for Republicans to donate blood, for the purpose of creating a cloned volunteer youth core to help with republican grass roots efforts, including "get out the vote" drives. "For some reason, Republican men just aren't getting any tail," whined Gillespie. "We need help in that department."
The children, according to Gillespie, will be held by the GOP to ensure "right thinking" within the party.
Some GOP activists expressed skepticism about the tactic. "What about us single guys," said long-time GOP supporter Tony Jackov, "we don't have kids to donate." Other GOP supporters were very supportive. "You know, it's nice to see the party moving in the right direction," said Virginia businessman Eli Mergatroid, "now all the world will be ours."
