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Monday, May 03, 2004

KERRY AND BUSH IDENTIFY ECONOMIC ADVISORS
By Tweed

Senator John Kerry and President George Bush have begun to make public their selections for economic policy advisors this week.

Senator Kerry, maintaining his position of being serious with respect to the nation's finances and the business climate, has identified billionaire investor Warren Buffet as one of his advisors.

President Bush, also maintaining one of his long-time positions, has shunned Wall Street for Sesame Street - identifying The Count as his chief economic policy advisor. Seeking to cut off controversy over the decision, White House spokesman, Scott McLellen noted that "the Count became a US citizen many years ago - any criticism of this choice should be viewed offensive to all Transylvanians and people of Transylvaniac descent."

President Bush was questioned on the move during an appearance in the Rose garden. "Say what y'all want - but when this guy counts, people listen - cause there's just noise everywhere and thunder happens. Besides, he comes from good people."

When reached for comment, the Count seemed very happy: "He said I could count de deficit as long as I vanted. . . ha ha ha ha ha . . . One . . . One Beellion dollars. . . Two Beellion dollars. . . ha ha ha ha ha."

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