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Saturday, May 08, 2004

MORE BAD NEWS FOR BUSH
By Tweed

Buffeted for weeks by bad news from Iraq, President Bush received even more bad news today: the President's "Wubby" may be lost forever.

According to top White House officials, the President inadvertantly left his wubby at the White House Correspondents' dinner; and it was picked up by an enterprising young reporter. The wubby ended up in the hands of one Mary Olfson, 5-years old. When asked if she would return the wubby to the President, Mary said "finders keepers, woosers weepers."

The White House quickly moved into high gear: Vice President Dick Cheney claimed, during a speach regarding strip mining, that Mary frequently played with other childrens' toys without asking, Condi Rice, in an interview, alleged that Mary always used too much paint during art class; L. Paul Bremer accused Mary of throwing away half her dinner; and Chief White House Tool, Bill Frist, claimed that she was mean to cats.

Mary, however, appeared confident that she would be able to retain her new-found wubby, after having had a one hour meeting with her new adoptive parents.
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