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Tuesday, June 01, 2004

BUSH TRIES TO LAY MILITARY RECORD FILE AT NEW MONUMENT
By Tweed

After laying a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknowns on Memorial Day, President Bush announced the creation of another war memorial. The new monument will be dedicated to "all those who cannot prove their military service," announced the President. The Lost Records Monument is set to be completed by May of 2006.

"We believe," said the President, "that many brave and heroic men and women are unable to prove their military service due to storage problems and other snafus. We hope this monument will alleviate some of the shame and frustration those service people feel when they cannot verify their whereabouts when questions arise about their brave and distinguished service."

Initial drawings of the monument show a large, marble filing cabinet being opened by a frustrated file clerk.

Tom Delay, Dick Armey, Dan Quayle, Denny Hastert, Saxby Chambliss, Paul Wolfowitz, Dick Cheney and the President himself are scheduled to speak at the dedication ceremony.
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