Friday, June 11, 2004
SOCCER MOMS LASH OUT AGAINST NASCAR DADS
By Tweed
In a move to retake the coveted premier voter bloc spot, Soccer Moms are lashing out against Nascar Dads, in moves remeniscent of conversations and actions that daily take place in homes all throughout suburbia in the United States.
"We're not backing down," said Bethany Hartsman, of suburban Indianapolis, leader of a group of Soccer Moms actively engaged in trying to reclaim Soccer Moms' previous position. Nascar Dads clearly view the group as a threat.
"Them women are tryin' tuh push around; and we're not gonna take it!" said Nascar Dad spokesman Daryl Jefferson Lee.
Tensions between the groups have been running high for years, despite auto makers' efforts to come up with a peace-creating SUV - minivan crossover. Recent attempts have fallen flat. And violence between the groups has been growing. Nascar Dads and Soccer Moms blame the violence on the other, and point to their own acts of violence as retaliation for some previous incident.
"We've been takin it on the chin for years, like men," intoned Lee in a well-worn Nascar Dad phrase. "We ain't gonna take it no more."
Differences between the groups break down on political lines, with Nascar Dads more likely to support President Bush and Soccer Moms more likely to support Senator Kerry. Nascar Dads point to Bush's efforts against terrorism as the primary reason for their support, noting that if Gore had been elected "we would've been taken over by Saddam Hussen or bin Laden." [editor's note: That's an actual quote of a Bush supporter, folks.] Soccer Moms, generally, have a low opinion of the President. "He's stupid," notes Shelley Longmeyer of Suburban St. Louis.
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By Tweed
In a move to retake the coveted premier voter bloc spot, Soccer Moms are lashing out against Nascar Dads, in moves remeniscent of conversations and actions that daily take place in homes all throughout suburbia in the United States.
"We're not backing down," said Bethany Hartsman, of suburban Indianapolis, leader of a group of Soccer Moms actively engaged in trying to reclaim Soccer Moms' previous position. Nascar Dads clearly view the group as a threat.
"Them women are tryin' tuh push around; and we're not gonna take it!" said Nascar Dad spokesman Daryl Jefferson Lee.
Tensions between the groups have been running high for years, despite auto makers' efforts to come up with a peace-creating SUV - minivan crossover. Recent attempts have fallen flat. And violence between the groups has been growing. Nascar Dads and Soccer Moms blame the violence on the other, and point to their own acts of violence as retaliation for some previous incident.
"We've been takin it on the chin for years, like men," intoned Lee in a well-worn Nascar Dad phrase. "We ain't gonna take it no more."
Differences between the groups break down on political lines, with Nascar Dads more likely to support President Bush and Soccer Moms more likely to support Senator Kerry. Nascar Dads point to Bush's efforts against terrorism as the primary reason for their support, noting that if Gore had been elected "we would've been taken over by Saddam Hussen or bin Laden." [editor's note: That's an actual quote of a Bush supporter, folks.] Soccer Moms, generally, have a low opinion of the President. "He's stupid," notes Shelley Longmeyer of Suburban St. Louis.
