Thursday, July 29, 2004
BUSH TO KERRY: YOU WON'T SHOW ME UP!
By Stockton
John Kerry arrived in Boston on Wednesday to accept his party's nomination for President of the United States. Arriving with Senator Kerry were Navy veterans who served under Kerry during the Vietnam War.
Not to be outdone, George W. Bush has made special arrangements to showcase his own military record.
"We have a lot of things planned that just might surprise the Democrats," said Ed Gillespie, Republican National Committee Chairman. "Kerry's not the only one who served during the Vietnam War."
Although details are sketchy, some of the plans for the Republican National Convention have leaked to the press.
When President Bush arrives in New York in August, he will be accompanied by: Dr. Spessard Devlin, the Alabama National Guard Dentist who examined the President's teeth in 1973 and the only person who can vouch for his whereabouts during 1972-1973:
National Guard Dentist "The President had strong teeth."
Following Dr. Devlin will be United States Congressman Tom Delay and Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss, hoisting placards adorned with Bush's 1973 dental records:
Delay and Chambliss: "Proud to carry Bush's Records."
Finally, bringing up the rear will be Department of Defense Records Clerk Nicholas Turner, who bravely searched over 120,000 documents, but still failed to locate the President's National Guard records.
Nick Turner: file clerk with a mission impossible
A proposal to showcase the Maine Trooper who arrested the President for Driving Under the Influence and the Judge who imposed the fine is still being discussed. Both the trooper and judge have shown interest in appearing with the former perpetrator.
Trooper and Judge may also appear with the President.
Former President Clinton's Dental Office could not be
reached for comment.
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By Stockton
John Kerry arrived in Boston on Wednesday to accept his party's nomination for President of the United States. Arriving with Senator Kerry were Navy veterans who served under Kerry during the Vietnam War.
Not to be outdone, George W. Bush has made special arrangements to showcase his own military record.
"We have a lot of things planned that just might surprise the Democrats," said Ed Gillespie, Republican National Committee Chairman. "Kerry's not the only one who served during the Vietnam War."
Although details are sketchy, some of the plans for the Republican National Convention have leaked to the press.
When President Bush arrives in New York in August, he will be accompanied by: Dr. Spessard Devlin, the Alabama National Guard Dentist who examined the President's teeth in 1973 and the only person who can vouch for his whereabouts during 1972-1973:
National Guard Dentist "The President had strong teeth."
Following Dr. Devlin will be United States Congressman Tom Delay and Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss, hoisting placards adorned with Bush's 1973 dental records:
Delay and Chambliss: "Proud to carry Bush's Records."
Finally, bringing up the rear will be Department of Defense Records Clerk Nicholas Turner, who bravely searched over 120,000 documents, but still failed to locate the President's National Guard records.
Nick Turner: file clerk with a mission impossible
A proposal to showcase the Maine Trooper who arrested the President for Driving Under the Influence and the Judge who imposed the fine is still being discussed. Both the trooper and judge have shown interest in appearing with the former perpetrator.
Trooper and Judge may also appear with the President.
Former President Clinton's Dental Office could not be
reached for comment.
