Thursday, July 22, 2004
CONGRESSMAN NEY'S NOMINATION FOR LB IN 04 ANNUAL PATRIOTISM AWARD IN JEOPARDY; LB IN 04 EDITORS FACE TOUGH CHOICE
By Pilsbury
Congressman Ney, nominated by the editors of LB in 04 for its annual patriotism award for his brave stand against the un-american labelling of potato-strip-deep-fried treats as "French" Fries, may be stripped of his nomination by Stockton & Tweed. The LB in 04 editors are claiming that Congressman Ney's support of a House Bill condeming any talk of postponing the 2004 presidential election due to a terrorist attack may be so blatantly un-patriotic that it renders meaningless his stand against Frankish treason.
Are Freedom Fries Losing
Their Oily Shine?
"We're very disappointed with Congressman Ney," said Stockton, "he just seems to have lost his way."
Tweed added more detail to the editors' analysis: "We don't understand how someone who was so brave and patriotic in the past could change so momentously. I mean, come on - if there were a terrorist attack we'd have to postpone the election. Granted, not having to ask for "French" fries anymore would help, but how could we survive the turmoil of a national election during war time? It's simply not been done. And it might jeopardize President Bush's relection."
After it was pointed out that presidential elections occurred during the Civil War, World War II, the Korean War and the Vietnam War, Tweed noted that "those were not wars against terrorists."
Although both Stockton and Tweed appear to be very disappointed with Congressman Ney's behavior, both swore that his nomination would stand until they had reviewed, and reached a determination in accordance with, the LB in 04 Official Rulebook and Guide to the LB in 04 Annual Patriotism Award and Cookbook.
Stockton & Tweed are simultaneously considering another House Republican to replace Congressman Ney's nomination. A House Committee headed by Tom Davis (R-Virginia) has now convened to investigate former NSA head Sandy Berger's handling of certain secret documents. Said Davis, "when brave American women and men are fighting the forces of evil overseas, it is important that this Congress not shirk from its duty to investigate non-criminal behavior that resulted in no loss of information or revelations of government secrets and which is already the subject of a Department of Justice investigation that was started months ago after the treasonous suspect apprised authorities of his own dubious behavior."
Thank God for Congressmen like Tom Davis!
Tom Davis.
The Flag Means He's Patriotic.
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By Pilsbury
Congressman Ney, nominated by the editors of LB in 04 for its annual patriotism award for his brave stand against the un-american labelling of potato-strip-deep-fried treats as "French" Fries, may be stripped of his nomination by Stockton & Tweed. The LB in 04 editors are claiming that Congressman Ney's support of a House Bill condeming any talk of postponing the 2004 presidential election due to a terrorist attack may be so blatantly un-patriotic that it renders meaningless his stand against Frankish treason.
Are Freedom Fries Losing
Their Oily Shine?
"We're very disappointed with Congressman Ney," said Stockton, "he just seems to have lost his way."
Tweed added more detail to the editors' analysis: "We don't understand how someone who was so brave and patriotic in the past could change so momentously. I mean, come on - if there were a terrorist attack we'd have to postpone the election. Granted, not having to ask for "French" fries anymore would help, but how could we survive the turmoil of a national election during war time? It's simply not been done. And it might jeopardize President Bush's relection."
After it was pointed out that presidential elections occurred during the Civil War, World War II, the Korean War and the Vietnam War, Tweed noted that "those were not wars against terrorists."
Although both Stockton and Tweed appear to be very disappointed with Congressman Ney's behavior, both swore that his nomination would stand until they had reviewed, and reached a determination in accordance with, the LB in 04 Official Rulebook and Guide to the LB in 04 Annual Patriotism Award and Cookbook.
Stockton & Tweed are simultaneously considering another House Republican to replace Congressman Ney's nomination. A House Committee headed by Tom Davis (R-Virginia) has now convened to investigate former NSA head Sandy Berger's handling of certain secret documents. Said Davis, "when brave American women and men are fighting the forces of evil overseas, it is important that this Congress not shirk from its duty to investigate non-criminal behavior that resulted in no loss of information or revelations of government secrets and which is already the subject of a Department of Justice investigation that was started months ago after the treasonous suspect apprised authorities of his own dubious behavior."
Thank God for Congressmen like Tom Davis!
Tom Davis.
The Flag Means He's Patriotic.
