Saturday, July 10, 2004
REPUBLICANS SCRAMBLE FOR NEW CANDIDATE
By Stockton
Since the departure of Republican Jack Ryan from the race for one of Illinois' senate seats because behavior we here at LB in 04' thoroughly approve of, the Illinois Republicans have been scrambling for a replacement candidate to challenge Democrat Barack Obama.
Republicans from all over the country have been scrambling to locate a suitable candidate.
California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, has been the most successful. "I tink dat we haf to buht fawwud an eggziting can-dee-date faw dat offiz," said Schwarzenheinneger. "Dat iz why Arianna [Huffington] and I tink dat de San Diego Chicken iz de best candidate - he will chickenate his opponent."
The San Diego Chicken at a press conference with the Cal. Governor.
Other republicans are less than enthusiastic, pointing to rumors of illegitimate children.
Other baseball mascots have been considered, and it is known that the Pittsburgh Pirate's Parrot has been working closely with advisors on strategies.
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By Stockton
Since the departure of Republican Jack Ryan from the race for one of Illinois' senate seats because behavior we here at LB in 04' thoroughly approve of, the Illinois Republicans have been scrambling for a replacement candidate to challenge Democrat Barack Obama.
Republicans from all over the country have been scrambling to locate a suitable candidate.
California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, has been the most successful. "I tink dat we haf to buht fawwud an eggziting can-dee-date faw dat offiz," said Schwarzenheinneger. "Dat iz why Arianna [Huffington] and I tink dat de San Diego Chicken iz de best candidate - he will chickenate his opponent."
The San Diego Chicken at a press conference with the Cal. Governor.
Other republicans are less than enthusiastic, pointing to rumors of illegitimate children.
Other baseball mascots have been considered, and it is known that the Pittsburgh Pirate's Parrot has been working closely with advisors on strategies.
