Monday, August 09, 2004
GOP EMBRACES CONVICTS; RUNS ONE OF THEIR OWN
By Tweed
In a surprise move, the Washington State GOP has decided to run a convict (19 convictions) for state office. "For most of us, moving from a law and order platform to an anything goes platform was difficult," said Ryan Gardner, Washington GOP spokesman; "but times change, and so does the GOP." Gardner also referred to Will Baker, the convict in question, as "an upstanding kind of guy - but I wouldn't leave my wallet with him if I was you."
Baker intends to run on traditional GOP issues, such as gun control and taxes. "When I needed a gun and couldn't get one because of waiting days and other bullshit, I got really pissed off and needed to get my anger out. And don't we all pay too much in taxes?"
Baker: Taxes are Too High for Washingtonians
In addition to these issues, Baker plans to stress a tough on defense position: "We can't let terrorist have their way with us. Getting fucked up the ass is no fun - I can tell you. And that's what they want to do to us - fuck us up the ass - not that I don't go for that, sometimes, as long as I'm not receiving. But what the hell - that's none of your damn business."
Baker also promised to make sex with minors legal, marijuana use mandatory and general thuggery a civic duty.
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By Tweed
In a surprise move, the Washington State GOP has decided to run a convict (19 convictions) for state office. "For most of us, moving from a law and order platform to an anything goes platform was difficult," said Ryan Gardner, Washington GOP spokesman; "but times change, and so does the GOP." Gardner also referred to Will Baker, the convict in question, as "an upstanding kind of guy - but I wouldn't leave my wallet with him if I was you."
Baker intends to run on traditional GOP issues, such as gun control and taxes. "When I needed a gun and couldn't get one because of waiting days and other bullshit, I got really pissed off and needed to get my anger out. And don't we all pay too much in taxes?"
Baker: Taxes are Too High for Washingtonians
In addition to these issues, Baker plans to stress a tough on defense position: "We can't let terrorist have their way with us. Getting fucked up the ass is no fun - I can tell you. And that's what they want to do to us - fuck us up the ass - not that I don't go for that, sometimes, as long as I'm not receiving. But what the hell - that's none of your damn business."
Baker also promised to make sex with minors legal, marijuana use mandatory and general thuggery a civic duty.
