Thursday, August 26, 2004
NEW ALLEGATIONS BY SWIFT BOAT COMMANDERS
By Stockton
John O'Neill, a leading figure in Swift Boat Commanders for Truth, has just dropped his latest bombshell. Not only did John Kerry not deserve his numerous combat medals, Mr. O'Neill claims that Senator Kerry was never in Vietnam.
"We have no documentary evidence," says O'Neill, "but we never do. What we have is fifty eye-witnesses that were in Vietnam from 1963 through 1965 and not one of those highly decorated men ever remembers John Kerry being there. You would think one of those men would remember this 'War Hero', wouldn't you?"
Mr. O'Neill never wavered in his allegations, even when the lack of actual evidence was mentioned. "That's just how diabolical this all is," said O'Neill. "John Kerry has systematically destroyed any physical evidence of his lack of valor. He has stolen original Pentagon records and replaced them with forged records. He even tried to have all those who served in Vietnam murdered, so we wouldn't spill the beans."
This new controversy will be the topic of every news show for the next two weeks.
In related news, Mr. O'Neill has a little trouble of his own. He is being sued by This Week host, George Stephanopolous. After Sunday's edition of This Week, Mr. O'Neill's hairpiece attacked Mr. Stephanopolous, causing minor injuries.
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By Stockton
John O'Neill, a leading figure in Swift Boat Commanders for Truth, has just dropped his latest bombshell. Not only did John Kerry not deserve his numerous combat medals, Mr. O'Neill claims that Senator Kerry was never in Vietnam.
"We have no documentary evidence," says O'Neill, "but we never do. What we have is fifty eye-witnesses that were in Vietnam from 1963 through 1965 and not one of those highly decorated men ever remembers John Kerry being there. You would think one of those men would remember this 'War Hero', wouldn't you?"
Mr. O'Neill never wavered in his allegations, even when the lack of actual evidence was mentioned. "That's just how diabolical this all is," said O'Neill. "John Kerry has systematically destroyed any physical evidence of his lack of valor. He has stolen original Pentagon records and replaced them with forged records. He even tried to have all those who served in Vietnam murdered, so we wouldn't spill the beans."
This new controversy will be the topic of every news show for the next two weeks.
In related news, Mr. O'Neill has a little trouble of his own. He is being sued by This Week host, George Stephanopolous. After Sunday's edition of This Week, Mr. O'Neill's hairpiece attacked Mr. Stephanopolous, causing minor injuries.
