Friday, August 06, 2004
TWO MORE COUNTRIES PULL OUT OF IRAQ
By Stockton
President Bush's Coalition of the Willing (COW) in Iraq was dealt another blow yesterday when it was announced that two more countries will be pulling troops out of Iraq.
Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy announced that Grand Fenwick will be removing its contingent of 33 troops. The Prime Minister cited safety concerns and a lack of security.
"We are a teeny-tiny nation and can no longer absorb the high casualty rate coming out of Iraq. We regret that we can no longer supply troops to aid President Bush's glorious endeavor and re-election efforts."
Over half of the Grand Fenwick troops have sustained a myriad of injuries ranging from ingrown toenails to post-partum depression.
Grand Fenwick troops look forward to going home
The other nation has been one of the United States staunchest allies. Earlier today, King Eomer of Rohan announced that 55 horsemen will be returning to bucolic Rohan. Again, like Grand Fenwick, security and safety concerns are cited. "It's fucking crazy over here," said the young king. "Americans are bitching about body armor. Well, we've got friggin' chain mail and they got these rocket propelled grenade things. Bush told us we'd be hunting Orcs. That turned out to be a lot of crap. And where are the fucking flowers? This was bullshit!"
King Eomer with choice words for Bush
With the retreat of Grand Fenwick and Rohan, only the United States, Great Britain, Albania, San Marino and Andorra remain the COW.
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By Stockton
President Bush's Coalition of the Willing (COW) in Iraq was dealt another blow yesterday when it was announced that two more countries will be pulling troops out of Iraq.
Prime Minister Rupert Mountjoy announced that Grand Fenwick will be removing its contingent of 33 troops. The Prime Minister cited safety concerns and a lack of security.
"We are a teeny-tiny nation and can no longer absorb the high casualty rate coming out of Iraq. We regret that we can no longer supply troops to aid President Bush's glorious endeavor and re-election efforts."
Over half of the Grand Fenwick troops have sustained a myriad of injuries ranging from ingrown toenails to post-partum depression.
Grand Fenwick troops look forward to going home
The other nation has been one of the United States staunchest allies. Earlier today, King Eomer of Rohan announced that 55 horsemen will be returning to bucolic Rohan. Again, like Grand Fenwick, security and safety concerns are cited. "It's fucking crazy over here," said the young king. "Americans are bitching about body armor. Well, we've got friggin' chain mail and they got these rocket propelled grenade things. Bush told us we'd be hunting Orcs. That turned out to be a lot of crap. And where are the fucking flowers? This was bullshit!"
With the retreat of Grand Fenwick and Rohan, only the United States, Great Britain, Albania, San Marino and Andorra remain the COW.
