Monday, September 13, 2004
BUSH GUARD MEMO IS FORGERY
By Stockton
In a shocking revelation, CBS and Dan Rather have apologized for releasing the infamous Bush National Guard Memos. The Memos allegedly established that Bush had refused to comply with a direct order from a superior officer. The Memos also purported to show that Bush's commanding officer felt himself to be in a quandary when dealing with a son of privilege.
Today it was announced that yes, indeed, the memos were forgeries. LB in '04 has since learned that the forger was none other than White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card.
"I did it to protect my President," said Card. "I didn't want the country to see what those memos really said. We'll need the President because without him, we'll be attacked again."
LB in '04 now publishes, in excerpted fashion, a paragraph of the 'original' memo written by Bush's commanding officer.
Card is shown here forging more memos after testing the new Lemon Pledge
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By Stockton
In a shocking revelation, CBS and Dan Rather have apologized for releasing the infamous Bush National Guard Memos. The Memos allegedly established that Bush had refused to comply with a direct order from a superior officer. The Memos also purported to show that Bush's commanding officer felt himself to be in a quandary when dealing with a son of privilege.
Today it was announced that yes, indeed, the memos were forgeries. LB in '04 has since learned that the forger was none other than White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card.
"I did it to protect my President," said Card. "I didn't want the country to see what those memos really said. We'll need the President because without him, we'll be attacked again."
LB in '04 now publishes, in excerpted fashion, a paragraph of the 'original' memo written by Bush's commanding officer.
"I know he's the son of a congressman, but I can't have him showing up coked up out of his mind. I let that whole abortion thing go, but the other day he was so drunk he tried to take his pants off over his head. Today, he was talking to his hand. I have to put him on report and can only hope he finds Jesus."
PS. Isn't this new proportional spacing nifty? I just love New Times Roman font.
