Wednesday, September 15, 2004
LB IN 04 FASHION QUEEN SPEAKS OUT (and Tweed responds)
By Tweed
Recently, we asked our expert on fashion to answer a few question troubling Stockton & Tweed. As usually, Jen made transparent that which was opaque:
S&T: What would Jesus wear while going door-to-door for Keyes?
Jen: The Republicans would never allow Jesus to go door-to-door for Keyes because he would scare little children. "His appearance was so disfigured beyond that of anyman and His form marred beyond human likeness….He hadno beauty or majesty to attract us to Him, nothing inHis appearance that we should desire Him. He wasdespised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, andfamiliar with suffering. Like one from whom men hidetheir faces He was despised, and we esteemed Him not." Isaiah 52:14 - 53:1-3
S&T: Yikes! Sounds like that guy I ran into in that alley down in the East Village! If I were a draft dodging meany who is allergic to goodness and happiness, how can I soften my image?
Jen: Be seen kissing babies and playing fetch with puppies.
S&T: Yeah, we checked with the Prince of Darkness. . .
"Vut, are you insane!?"
S&T: Are there any clothes that John Edwards does not look good in?
Jen: Tweed.
Tweed: What?!?!? D'ya heea that Holmes?!?
I must respectfully disagree. I do agree with the sentiment that tweed is not suited for everyone. There are times when the substance is a mistake:
But then again, who can resist the allure of fine English tweed?
It's great for many things. Handbags. . .
Ties. . .
And even hats.
(Just look at how happy she is!)
Heck! Even Prada knows that tweed is the way to go!
And of course, not even John Edwards could resist the charms of a Harris Tweed jacket.
Besides, these chicks love me (and the last one looks a little slutty):
|
By Tweed
Recently, we asked our expert on fashion to answer a few question troubling Stockton & Tweed. As usually, Jen made transparent that which was opaque:
S&T: What would Jesus wear while going door-to-door for Keyes?
Jen: The Republicans would never allow Jesus to go door-to-door for Keyes because he would scare little children. "His appearance was so disfigured beyond that of anyman and His form marred beyond human likeness….He hadno beauty or majesty to attract us to Him, nothing inHis appearance that we should desire Him. He wasdespised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, andfamiliar with suffering. Like one from whom men hidetheir faces He was despised, and we esteemed Him not." Isaiah 52:14 - 53:1-3
S&T: Yikes! Sounds like that guy I ran into in that alley down in the East Village! If I were a draft dodging meany who is allergic to goodness and happiness, how can I soften my image?
Jen: Be seen kissing babies and playing fetch with puppies.
S&T: Yeah, we checked with the Prince of Darkness. . .
"Vut, are you insane!?"
S&T: Are there any clothes that John Edwards does not look good in?
Jen: Tweed.
Tweed: What?!?!? D'ya heea that Holmes?!?
I must respectfully disagree. I do agree with the sentiment that tweed is not suited for everyone. There are times when the substance is a mistake:
But then again, who can resist the allure of fine English tweed?
It's great for many things. Handbags. . .
Ties. . .
And even hats.
(Just look at how happy she is!)
Heck! Even Prada knows that tweed is the way to go!
And of course, not even John Edwards could resist the charms of a Harris Tweed jacket.
Besides, these chicks love me (and the last one looks a little slutty):
