Thursday, September 30, 2004
NATIONAL PASTIME RETURNS TO NATIONAL CAPITAL
By Tweed
All of the Washington, D.C., metro area was all a-twitter with the news that the national pastime is returning to Washington. "I just can't wait," said Mayor Anthony Williams. Indeed, most of Washington seemed to be dizzy with excitement.
Despite jokes about it being "Bush league," lovers of the game have ignored such as "to be expected chatter by the nattering nabobs of negativity."
Long time supporter Douglas Murphy noted that "we've had a lot of activity the last few months - and it's really built up great expectations." Murphy also chastized the few doubters who argued the game would not come to town this year: "Look, excessive hyperbole always follows the debates - just because this year it came a bit early doesn't mean it won't continue after the debates."
Supporters of extravegant campaign verbiage lined Constitution Avenue holding up their signs with their favorite campaign rhetoric and examples of what they want. "I want to hear more about how John Kerry murdered his own troops in Vietnam and conspired with the enemey to surrender Saigon," said Anne Hendersman. "And I want to hear more about how George Bush is the love child of Forrest Gump and Bar Bush - and how Bush is planning to create a cabinet post of Secretary of Haliburton," said an unidentified man standing next to Ms. Hendersman.
Both campaigns promised to try to meet expectations. "Oh boy do we have some good ones," said Bush campaign spokesman Scott Underman. "Like how's this: 'If America wanted a pot smoking Vietnam vet, they would have voted for Al. . . maybe we shouldn't use that one - but how about this 'If Kerry's so smart, how come he couldn't figure out how to avoid combat' - love that one."
Mary Beth Cahill, Kerry's campaign manager, refused to cite specifics: "We just plan on using actual George Bush quotes."
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By Tweed
All of the Washington, D.C., metro area was all a-twitter with the news that the national pastime is returning to Washington. "I just can't wait," said Mayor Anthony Williams. Indeed, most of Washington seemed to be dizzy with excitement.
Despite jokes about it being "Bush league," lovers of the game have ignored such as "to be expected chatter by the nattering nabobs of negativity."
Long time supporter Douglas Murphy noted that "we've had a lot of activity the last few months - and it's really built up great expectations." Murphy also chastized the few doubters who argued the game would not come to town this year: "Look, excessive hyperbole always follows the debates - just because this year it came a bit early doesn't mean it won't continue after the debates."
Supporters of extravegant campaign verbiage lined Constitution Avenue holding up their signs with their favorite campaign rhetoric and examples of what they want. "I want to hear more about how John Kerry murdered his own troops in Vietnam and conspired with the enemey to surrender Saigon," said Anne Hendersman. "And I want to hear more about how George Bush is the love child of Forrest Gump and Bar Bush - and how Bush is planning to create a cabinet post of Secretary of Haliburton," said an unidentified man standing next to Ms. Hendersman.
Both campaigns promised to try to meet expectations. "Oh boy do we have some good ones," said Bush campaign spokesman Scott Underman. "Like how's this: 'If America wanted a pot smoking Vietnam vet, they would have voted for Al. . . maybe we shouldn't use that one - but how about this 'If Kerry's so smart, how come he couldn't figure out how to avoid combat' - love that one."
Mary Beth Cahill, Kerry's campaign manager, refused to cite specifics: "We just plan on using actual George Bush quotes."
