Thursday, September 30, 2004
RIGHTWING DADDIES MAKE MORE LESBIANS
By Stockton
It appears that Maya Keyes, the daughter of Illinois Senate candidate Alan Keyes, is a lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with that). Ms. Keyes has joined the growing ranks of lesbians that are the off-spring of Rightwingers, including Mary Cheney, daughter of Vice-President Dick Cheney.
Sociologist Edward Velakovsky isn't surprised. "What do you expect from young women when the father-figure in their lives is a Dick Cheney or Alan Keyes? Do they really have a choice? These women probably believe that all men are like their fathers, crazy, wild-eyed demagogues who rant and rave about hedonism and hell. They probably see other women as their only escape from life with males like their father."
In his groundbreaking study, 'I Did Everything Right and She's Still a Dike', Velakovsky notes the irony of the situation. "Essentially, I found the Rightwing male hates lesbians because it is narrowing his field of opportunity. They've never been good at getting women, women find Rightwingers extremely undesirable and the increase in lesbianism means fewer opportunities for them in an already small field. On the other hand, I can't understand their distaste of male homosexuality. That takes a lot of goodlooking guys off the table and increases their chances tenfold."
I'm an extremist and all I got was a lesbian daughter!
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By Stockton
It appears that Maya Keyes, the daughter of Illinois Senate candidate Alan Keyes, is a lesbian (not that there is anything wrong with that). Ms. Keyes has joined the growing ranks of lesbians that are the off-spring of Rightwingers, including Mary Cheney, daughter of Vice-President Dick Cheney.
Sociologist Edward Velakovsky isn't surprised. "What do you expect from young women when the father-figure in their lives is a Dick Cheney or Alan Keyes? Do they really have a choice? These women probably believe that all men are like their fathers, crazy, wild-eyed demagogues who rant and rave about hedonism and hell. They probably see other women as their only escape from life with males like their father."
In his groundbreaking study, 'I Did Everything Right and She's Still a Dike', Velakovsky notes the irony of the situation. "Essentially, I found the Rightwing male hates lesbians because it is narrowing his field of opportunity. They've never been good at getting women, women find Rightwingers extremely undesirable and the increase in lesbianism means fewer opportunities for them in an already small field. On the other hand, I can't understand their distaste of male homosexuality. That takes a lot of goodlooking guys off the table and increases their chances tenfold."
