Friday, October 29, 2004
BUSH PREDICTS VICTORY AMONG DIGITALLY CREATED PEOPLE
By Tweed
Citing the huge support he has been receiving in digitally doctored photographs of his campaign rallies, the Bush campaign has expressed confidence in winning, by a large margin, the vote of digitally created people.
"John Kerry likes to tell you that he's for you," Bush said at a recent rally of digitally created people on a computer screen in Bush campaign headquarters in Arlington, VA. "But if he's for you, where is he - how come he's not makin' the effort to reach out to you and talk to you." The president's remarks drew huge computer generated cheers from legions of replications of Pfc. Howard Otterman, Pfc. Joseph Cartman and Linda Hastings, of Eagleton, NE.
"We think that this is an untapped voting block that is perfect for this president," said Ken Mehlman, Bush campaign chief. "These people are the definition of a captured audience - and there no hecklers, they don't laugh when he says something stupid and they cheer whenever we want them to - really, they do - do you want me to make them cheer now?" In addition, campaign aides say, Bush doesn't have to stand up straight when addressing them.
Bush Speaking to Undecided Digitally Created People
The effort has not been without problems and controversy, however. Despite their best efforts, some digitally created people are turning against the president. The campaign has admitted some problems in this regard, but has created special "cyber-first amendment zones" where the wayward digitally created people may congregate.
Not All Digitally Created People Are Welcome at Virtual Rallies
Nonetheless, the Bush team feels confident that Bush will carry this crucial voting block; and have a strategy if things start to go the other way. "The great thing about this voting block," said one campaign advisor, "is that we can just keep reproducing these guys over and over again. The degredation is virtually non-existent. And we just get more voters."
Bush's team is also starting outreach to "digital-thingy voters" in an effort to expand further his base of support. "All prorgrams will vote for Bush," said the Bush Digital-Thingy outreach chief.
Will Out Reach to Digital Thingies Put Bush Over the Edge?
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By Tweed
Citing the huge support he has been receiving in digitally doctored photographs of his campaign rallies, the Bush campaign has expressed confidence in winning, by a large margin, the vote of digitally created people.
"John Kerry likes to tell you that he's for you," Bush said at a recent rally of digitally created people on a computer screen in Bush campaign headquarters in Arlington, VA. "But if he's for you, where is he - how come he's not makin' the effort to reach out to you and talk to you." The president's remarks drew huge computer generated cheers from legions of replications of Pfc. Howard Otterman, Pfc. Joseph Cartman and Linda Hastings, of Eagleton, NE.
"We think that this is an untapped voting block that is perfect for this president," said Ken Mehlman, Bush campaign chief. "These people are the definition of a captured audience - and there no hecklers, they don't laugh when he says something stupid and they cheer whenever we want them to - really, they do - do you want me to make them cheer now?" In addition, campaign aides say, Bush doesn't have to stand up straight when addressing them.
Bush Speaking to Undecided Digitally Created People
The effort has not been without problems and controversy, however. Despite their best efforts, some digitally created people are turning against the president. The campaign has admitted some problems in this regard, but has created special "cyber-first amendment zones" where the wayward digitally created people may congregate.
Not All Digitally Created People Are Welcome at Virtual Rallies
Nonetheless, the Bush team feels confident that Bush will carry this crucial voting block; and have a strategy if things start to go the other way. "The great thing about this voting block," said one campaign advisor, "is that we can just keep reproducing these guys over and over again. The degredation is virtually non-existent. And we just get more voters."
Bush's team is also starting outreach to "digital-thingy voters" in an effort to expand further his base of support. "All prorgrams will vote for Bush," said the Bush Digital-Thingy outreach chief.
Will Out Reach to Digital Thingies Put Bush Over the Edge?
