Thursday, October 21, 2004
AN ELECTION NIGHT TIMELINE - STOCKTON
By Stockton
The following is one possible election night timeline for LB in '04 Editor Stockton. It is based upon a detailed analysis of the polling data and historical voting patterns as well as pure conjecture. This is only one possibility out of the many we will explore on In Search Of...
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2ND 2004
5:30 PM - Rush out to mall after forgetting today is Mrs. Stockton's birthday
5:38 PM - Chris Matthews calls Florida for Bush
6:00 PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 19 (KY & IN)
Kerry 0
Stockton lets cats out, returns to watching Seinfeld reruns
7:00PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 55 (VA, SC, GA,)
Kerry 7 (VT, NH)
To Close To call - 27 (FL)
Carton of cigarettes depleted, run to store for smokes and coffee, let cats in, Matthews apologizes
7:22PM - Russert starts writing on cardboard, Stockton feeds cats and puts son to bed
7:30PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 95 (NC, OH, WV)
Kerry 7
Too Close to call 27 (FL)
Stockton curses OH, throws cat at television
7:39PM - Out of cigarettes and coffee, run to store.
8:00PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 179 (TN,AL,MS,TX,OK,KS,MO)
Kerry 120 (ME, CT, MA,PA,MD,DC,NJ,MI,IL)
Breaths sigh of relief, calls vet to make appointment for cat
8:30PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 185 (AR)
Kerry 120
Stockton reviews Constitution to see if Arkansas can be kicked out of Union
Watch Seinfeld reruns, poke cat, cat still breathing
9:00PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 224 (LA,SD,NE,WY,CO,AZ)
Kerry 180 (NY,RI,WI,MN,NM)
Breaths sigh of relief, wife pulls Stockton's head out of oven and points out we have electric stove, not gas
9:39PM - Ignore crying daughter
9:41PM - Ignore wife calling his name
9:42PM - Ignore wife calling him names
9:48PM - Reflect that IA and NV are populated with reasonable people who love their country.
9:51PM - Reflect that IA and NV hate America and Republicans will steal the election
10:00PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 239 (ND, MT, ID, UT)
Kerry 192 (IA, NV)
Wakes up wife to say he promised God that if IA went to Kerry he'd move there.
10:01PM - Wife packs for him
11:00PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 239
Kerry 269 (CA,OR,WA,HI)
11:01PM - Realizes it could be a tie, who votes in the House? New Congress, old Congress? Copy of Constitution already ripped up in disgust
12:00 -Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 242 (AK)
Kerry 269
12:05AM - Watch Charlie's Angels reruns
1:10AM - Florida called for Bush, lock doors and look for passport. House will vote Bush in, Senate makes Edwards Vice-President.
|
By Stockton
The following is one possible election night timeline for LB in '04 Editor Stockton. It is based upon a detailed analysis of the polling data and historical voting patterns as well as pure conjecture. This is only one possibility out of the many we will explore on In Search Of...
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2ND 2004
5:30 PM - Rush out to mall after forgetting today is Mrs. Stockton's birthday
5:38 PM - Chris Matthews calls Florida for Bush
6:00 PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 19 (KY & IN)
Kerry 0
Stockton lets cats out, returns to watching Seinfeld reruns
7:00PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 55 (VA, SC, GA,)
Kerry 7 (VT, NH)
To Close To call - 27 (FL)
Carton of cigarettes depleted, run to store for smokes and coffee, let cats in, Matthews apologizes
7:22PM - Russert starts writing on cardboard, Stockton feeds cats and puts son to bed
7:30PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 95 (NC, OH, WV)
Kerry 7
Too Close to call 27 (FL)
Stockton curses OH, throws cat at television
7:39PM - Out of cigarettes and coffee, run to store.
8:00PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 179 (TN,AL,MS,TX,OK,KS,MO)
Kerry 120 (ME, CT, MA,PA,MD,DC,NJ,MI,IL)
Breaths sigh of relief, calls vet to make appointment for cat
8:30PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 185 (AR)
Kerry 120
Stockton reviews Constitution to see if Arkansas can be kicked out of Union
Watch Seinfeld reruns, poke cat, cat still breathing
9:00PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 224 (LA,SD,NE,WY,CO,AZ)
Kerry 180 (NY,RI,WI,MN,NM)
Breaths sigh of relief, wife pulls Stockton's head out of oven and points out we have electric stove, not gas
9:39PM - Ignore crying daughter
9:41PM - Ignore wife calling his name
9:42PM - Ignore wife calling him names
9:48PM - Reflect that IA and NV are populated with reasonable people who love their country.
9:51PM - Reflect that IA and NV hate America and Republicans will steal the election
10:00PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 239 (ND, MT, ID, UT)
Kerry 192 (IA, NV)
Wakes up wife to say he promised God that if IA went to Kerry he'd move there.
10:01PM - Wife packs for him
11:00PM - Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 239
Kerry 269 (CA,OR,WA,HI)
11:01PM - Realizes it could be a tie, who votes in the House? New Congress, old Congress? Copy of Constitution already ripped up in disgust
12:00 -Electoral Vote Tally
Bush 242 (AK)
Kerry 269
12:05AM - Watch Charlie's Angels reruns
1:10AM - Florida called for Bush, lock doors and look for passport. House will vote Bush in, Senate makes Edwards Vice-President.
