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Thursday, October 21, 2004

KERRY IN A LANDSLIDE
By Stockton

In a stunning victory, Senator John F. Kerry (D-MA) easily defeated President George W. Bush in the race for the kids vote. Kerry received 57% to the President's 43%*. Kerry swept Bush in nearly every category of voter. Over one million kids voted.

Inside the Numbers

Among those who wanted a President smarterer than them:

Kerry 87%
Bush 13%

Among those who like war heroes:

Kerry 94%
Bush 6%

Among those who can pronounce nuclear correctly:

Kerry 91%
Bush 9%

Among those who believe a unilateral approach in the war in Iraq is fundementally flawed, leaving the United States exposed to a greater extent than it was during the height of the Cold War (Particularly during Kruschev's tenure as Party Chairman)

Kerry 82%
Bush 18%

Among those who prefer fudgcicles over ice cream:

Kerry 76%
Bush 24%

Among those who pee their pants when scared:

Bush 88%
Kerry 12%

Among those who hate poo-poo heads:

Kerry 93%
Bush 7%

OTHER FINDINGS

Height - 53% believe John Kerry is taller than President Bush

Education - 67% believed that Mrs. Kenney would take points off for the President's incomplete sentences

Attitude - 66% believe Mrs. Thompson would have given the President a time-out after the first debate

* can't find the percentages on Nickelodeon website. Saw result while watching Sponge Bob.





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