Monday, October 18, 2004
TAKE COVER - IMPLOSION ON YOUR RIGHT
Editorial
The Editors of LB in '04 urge our readers to find a safe place to take cover. The Rightwing seems to be imploding (or maybe exploding, it's hard to tell).
Where to start. Lets begin with the easy stuff.
The God Fearing Party has once again nominated, at the very least, an ex-junkie for President and a two-time (at least) DWI offender for Vice-President. But, this is too easy. We all know about these two guys.
There's one of our all-time favorites, failed Illinois Senate Candidate, Jack Ryan. Mr. Ryan wanted to have sex with his wife (good) in front of other people (bad). They replaced him with Alan Keyes, a Marylander, who accused Mrs. Clinton of being a Carpetbagger.
The GOP also nominated James L. Hart for Congress in the Tennessee 8th. Mr. Hart is an interesting man.
Lets not forget about Coburn, the GOP Senate candidate in Oklohoma. He's worried about all three lesbians in Oklahoma running loose in the schools.
Pete Coors, running for Senate in Colorado is a proud conservative, against gay marriage but for ...the Black & Blue 2004 Festival in Montreal, a weeklong gay benefit"--that begins tonight-- that attracts up to 80,000 people to events such as the Leather Rail, Raunch Fetish Night and a male nude revue. ...Coors Light is one of two free beers that will be served at the official launch cocktail party.
He's also concerned about North Dakota for some reason.
Then, there's Senator Bunning of Kentucky. Increasingly, he's acting like everyone's favorite uncle. The one you hide in the attic when you have company.
One of the Right's biggest douchebags is a junkie and the other likes to sexually harass employees.
Finally, two oldies but goodies. If you Yahoo "Santorum" & "bestiality", you'll receive over 4,000 hits (by comparison, if you Yahoo "Tweed" + "Bestiality" you only get 2,221 hits). And what was it with Senator Cornyn and those damn box turtles.
Ladies and Gentlemen: Your Family Values Party!
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Editorial
The Editors of LB in '04 urge our readers to find a safe place to take cover. The Rightwing seems to be imploding (or maybe exploding, it's hard to tell).
Where to start. Lets begin with the easy stuff.
The God Fearing Party has once again nominated, at the very least, an ex-junkie for President and a two-time (at least) DWI offender for Vice-President. But, this is too easy. We all know about these two guys.
There's one of our all-time favorites, failed Illinois Senate Candidate, Jack Ryan. Mr. Ryan wanted to have sex with his wife (good) in front of other people (bad). They replaced him with Alan Keyes, a Marylander, who accused Mrs. Clinton of being a Carpetbagger.
The GOP also nominated James L. Hart for Congress in the Tennessee 8th. Mr. Hart is an interesting man.
Lets not forget about Coburn, the GOP Senate candidate in Oklohoma. He's worried about all three lesbians in Oklahoma running loose in the schools.
Pete Coors, running for Senate in Colorado is a proud conservative, against gay marriage but for ...the Black & Blue 2004 Festival in Montreal, a weeklong gay benefit"--that begins tonight-- that attracts up to 80,000 people to events such as the Leather Rail, Raunch Fetish Night and a male nude revue. ...Coors Light is one of two free beers that will be served at the official launch cocktail party.
He's also concerned about North Dakota for some reason.
MR. COORS: This is a war on terror. And this is a--we can say "weapons of mass destruction," "no weapons of mass destruction"; clearly, we should be more worried today, actually, about Iran and North Dakota
Then, there's Senator Bunning of Kentucky. Increasingly, he's acting like everyone's favorite uncle. The one you hide in the attic when you have company.
One of the Right's biggest douchebags is a junkie and the other likes to sexually harass employees.
Finally, two oldies but goodies. If you Yahoo "Santorum" & "bestiality", you'll receive over 4,000 hits (by comparison, if you Yahoo "Tweed" + "Bestiality" you only get 2,221 hits). And what was it with Senator Cornyn and those damn box turtles.
Ladies and Gentlemen: Your Family Values Party!
