Tuesday, November 09, 2004
WHAT'S BEHIND THE RED CURTAIN IN ALABAMA?
RACISM
By Tweed
The Associated Press reports:
"YEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAA!" and "God Bless Jeff Davis and the Confederacy!" were the most common refrains heard from voting booths throughout Alabama as the voters surged to the polls to vote down the amendment. In addition to the vote against Amendment Two, Alabama voters approved a resolution denying the existence of the years 1860 - 2004, a law requiring the wearing of dirty red overalls (with no shirt) by all gas station attendants and a new regulatory structure requiring Satan and his minion to register with the clerk of each county in which Satan or his minion intend to operate.
Tom Parker, a former aide to Roy "Ten Commandments" Moore, claimed that his victory had much in common with George Bush's 2000 election victory. "I had a meeting with a bunch of the Republican Party leaders and they told me I'd make a good candidate. Then God told me he wanted me to be State Senator. But a friend of mine was State Senator in my jurisdiction, so I asked God if I could run for the Supreme Court. He asked about its current make-up and then gave me the OK. Praise Jesus! Amen."
Republican party leaders refused to take credit for their electoral victory, instead giving all the credit to Jesus. "I'm just glad we're able to do God's good work here on earth," said Harlan Ashburn, of Selma. "Jesus Christ, our savior, really brought it home for us today. We had him going door-to-door, making speaches, attending fundraisers. Tell you what. No one but no one can bring down the house like the son of God. And he can hold his drink too."
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RACISM
By Tweed
The Associated Press reports:
MONTGOMERY, Ala. - Old times are not forgotten in the heart of Dixie. Alabama
voters elected a Supreme Court candidate linked to Old South ideals and
apparently killed a move to strike segregationist language from the state
Constitution, a victory of sorts for the state's neo-Confederate crowd.
Michael Hill, president of the pro-secession League of the South, said Tom Parker's election Tuesday and the Amendment Two results make it obvious many Alabama voters still identify with Southern causes.
"YEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAA!" and "God Bless Jeff Davis and the Confederacy!" were the most common refrains heard from voting booths throughout Alabama as the voters surged to the polls to vote down the amendment. In addition to the vote against Amendment Two, Alabama voters approved a resolution denying the existence of the years 1860 - 2004, a law requiring the wearing of dirty red overalls (with no shirt) by all gas station attendants and a new regulatory structure requiring Satan and his minion to register with the clerk of each county in which Satan or his minion intend to operate.
Tom Parker, a former aide to Roy "Ten Commandments" Moore, claimed that his victory had much in common with George Bush's 2000 election victory. "I had a meeting with a bunch of the Republican Party leaders and they told me I'd make a good candidate. Then God told me he wanted me to be State Senator. But a friend of mine was State Senator in my jurisdiction, so I asked God if I could run for the Supreme Court. He asked about its current make-up and then gave me the OK. Praise Jesus! Amen."
Republican party leaders refused to take credit for their electoral victory, instead giving all the credit to Jesus. "I'm just glad we're able to do God's good work here on earth," said Harlan Ashburn, of Selma. "Jesus Christ, our savior, really brought it home for us today. We had him going door-to-door, making speaches, attending fundraisers. Tell you what. No one but no one can bring down the house like the son of God. And he can hold his drink too."
