Friday, December 31, 2004


Where Have Stockton and Tweed Gone!?


Stop by and have a drink.


Wednesday, December 22, 2004


As the old year closes and the new year draws near....blah, blah, blah...LB in '04 will be signing off, for good. We tried to Lick a lot of Bush the past eight months, but that wasn't what America wanted.

Look for Stockton & Tweed's latest venture in the next week or so. If you liked LB in '04, you'll love the new stuff. It will still be that familiar, lowest common denominator, immature and inane blog that you've grown to love and admire. Updates will not be as frequent, maybe twice a week or so, but you'll have plenty to amuse yourself with at the new place.

We're keeping LB in '04 open for visitors. Feel free to come in and browse, remembering the good old days, before the darkness fell, again. Just shut the lights off and lock the door before you leave.

In the meantime, the LB in '04 Christmas Party was a huge success.

The interns enjoyed themselves

So did Stockton

Tweed made the decorations

And Tweed got all gussied up!


Tuesday, December 21, 2004

By Tweed

In a move demonstrating that the White House has not given up its near death-grip on every possible facet of how it operates, President Bush yesterday side-stepped another debate:

"Now, the temptation is going to be, by well-meaning people such as yourself and others here, as we run up to the issue, to get me to negotiate with myself in public," Bush told the questioner on Monday. "To say, you know, "What's this mean, Mr. President? What's that mean?

"I'm not going to do that. I don't get to write the law. I'll propose a solution at the appropriate time," Bush said.

Asked to explain one facet of his Social Security policy, Bush agreed but said, "I will try to explain how without negotiating with myself. It's a very tricky way to get me to play my cards. I understand that."
White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card tried to down-play the dodge, noting that "the President did not say that he would never negotiate with himself. He just made clear that he wasn't going to . . . well. . . think about the issue in any great detail."

Bush, After Being Informed that He Actually Could Write the Law if He Wanted to

White House Spokesman Scott McClellen followed up on Mr. Card's remarks, trying to further clarify the President's comments: "The President is a thoughtful person, and he knows that being too thoughtful is wasteful, because there are only so many thoughts someone has." Asked whether the President's comments indicated that Mr. Bush does not yet have a full grasp on the issue, Mr. McClellen asked me never again to attend a White House briefing.


Thursday, December 16, 2004

By Tweed

From the New York Times:

Senior Republicans sounded out Alan Greenspan, chairman of the Federal Reserve, about taking over from John Snow as US Treasury secretary, the Financial Times has learned. The informal approach, which would have put the most respected economic leader in the US in charge of President George W Bush's ambitious second-term domestic agenda, was declined.

The administration's plans to overhaul Social Security and reform the tax system face a stern challenge on Capitol Hill and scepticism in some quarters on Wall Street.

Just days after the Washington DC rumor mill was echoing with the sounds of John Snow's departure, his position now seems secure. The reason: no one seems to want his job. The administration had reached out to a number of other candidates as well, including Claude Pepper, a partner in the accounting firm of Coleman, Taylor and Pepper, P.C., of Scranton Pennsylvania. Mr. Pepper, a lifelong republican, said he received the call from Andy Card two weeks ago. "I was honored to receive a call from the President's Chief of Staff. But my daughter just started med school, and I couldn't afford to keep my cabin in the Poconos if I left my practice."

Karl Heierman, a bookkeeper in Cleveland, Missouri, also received the call. "I told Mr. Card I didn't feel qualified. But Mr. Card said he thought I had what it takes to do the job. Unfortunately, I'm washing my hair that day, so I can't take the job."

"Let's look at it this way," said one Republican insider, "China holds half a trillion dollars and could dump them whenever, however it wants; we have larger trade deficits and budget deficits than we've ever had; we have more off-the-books spending in Iraq and Afghanastan; and the President wants to make his tax cuts permanent and privatize social security."

"We've had to resort to some unusual methods of getting candidates in the door," he concluded.

Candidate for Sec. of the Treasury
Being "Escorted" to the White House


Wednesday, December 15, 2004

By Tweed

Yesterday, President Bush awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two of his administration's former top sycophants and one of the only retired top generals to support his re-election bid: contender for Chief White House Tool, L. Paul Bremer; War Justifier in Chief, George Tenet; and General Tommy Franks.

Tenet, Bremer and Franks Immediately Prior to Accepting Their Medals

President Bush delivered a carefully worded endorsement of each and refused to ask questions as to why he chose these three. Others in the administration shed some light on the decision. "We felt that Bremer and Tenet really helped out the President," said an administration official on the condition of annonymity. "They did such a piss-poor job that they really made the President look good. And we were afraid Franks would beat-up someone if he didn't get it."

Other people on the short list were John O'Neill, Zell Miller and Dick Cheney.


Tuesday, December 14, 2004


LB in '04 would like to thank Ben over at Blue Grass Roots (an excellent blog for national and Kentucky politics) for nominating LB in '04 for a Koufax Award. Our sense of humility prevents us from stating the obvious: clearly, we are the funniest political blog around. However, we will not point that fact (we are funnier than anyone else) out.

Nor will we whore for votes. We will not ask our readers and friends to go here to second the nomination. Or here to vote. In fact, don't even go here.

Thanks Ben. A good guy from a good blog.

Finally, a personal note from Stockton. I turned away from organized religion many years ago. I have never found a house of worship, or a faith, that made me feel comfortable, at home relaxed and joyous. However, I've recently found a church where I can worship consistent with my values and the values of LB in '04. Readers. Jesus is Lord!

Stockton's new home


Saturday, December 11, 2004

By Stockton

Nanny Problem' Forces Kerik to Withdraw

WASHINGTON - Bernard Kerik apologized to President Bush on Saturday after questions about the immigration status of a housekeeper-nanny he employed led the former New York City police commissioner to withdraw his nomination as homeland security chief.

"I owe the president an enormous amount of gratitude for this consideration. I owe him a great apology that this may have caused him and his administration a big distraction," Kerik said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press from his home in Franklin Lakes, N.J.

Kerik's Nanny derails Cabinet appointment

Kerik has retained a new employee who will watch his children and take care of the residence. "This time we've checked his immigration status and everything is in order. He even speaks English."

The new Nanny and the Kerik children


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